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Old 10-27-2010, 04:37 AM
booklady78 booklady78 is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 149
Default Losing old connections when you form new ones

This thought came about from rather sad circumstances.

To put it as briefly as possible, my husband had need to travel out of province to see his family after his Grandad passed away. His Mom knows about us being poly, but is not especially supportive (interestingly enough because she tried it and it didn't work for her!).

Anyway, my husband felt very uncomfortable around his family. He didn't feel a great need to discuss his own personal life, he said it just felt awkward to be around them, they didn't 'feel' like his family.

I kinda feel the same way about my own family. I still care about them, but since they don't accept me being poly, I find myself drifting away from them. I'm even considering just avoiding my whole family completely at Christmas time and helping out a colleague with work since they have trouble finding people to work on Christmas day.

I've been seeing a therapist and wasn't expecting to feel this calm about losing the connection I have with my family. They used to be the most important thing in my life, but now I have a new poly family that has become my priority. My blood family is ignorant and judgmental, my poly family is loving and supportive. Kind of a 'no brainer' as to which family I want to devote my time and energy to.

I guess it's not a realistic expectation to have every person you meet stay in your life forever. As you meet new people, move to difference places, life changes, etc. some people get left behind as you move on.

How do some of you deal with people drifting in and out of your life? Do you struggle to maintain a connection or let go?
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