Yeah - I don't know. Maybe to me polyamory is about taking things at a pace that everyone is comfortable with and working up to "relationships". I didn't think that you could put one definition on the whole thing and say that has to work for everyone. Maybe I should have just used the term "open relationship", because neither of us had even heard of the word Polyamory until I found this website.
And one more time to be clear - its not the relationship itself! Its the behaviors of everyone involved. Should these things not progress with everyone's feelings and needs in mind?
By knowing her place, I think maybe I should have said "knowing her boundaries". Separating his time with her and his time with me, mostly. Their time together and communication was bleeding into time he was spending with me, and because of the lack of time I am able to spend with him already that was a huge issue. And honestly, because of that, I felt that I was in competition with her, for his attention and time. But that issue has also been brought up and steps have been made to alleviate it..