Close your eyes & count backward from ten to zero. You're not 'looking' at the problem because your eyes are closed & your mind isn't concentrating on it as it's focusing on the next number.
Variation: with closed eyes say ten random numbers slowly. Counting is such a rote thing that you might still be able to think about the problem.
Whenever possible I tend to just totally remove myself from the situation until I have my temper under control. If removing myself isn't an option I tell the person that I'm upset/angry & need a chance to cool off before we discuss it further. Some people know how to leave it alone, others will worry it (& you) to death until you finally do blow. Those who won't leave me alone until I cool off deserve what they get of my temper & I tell them I'm not responsible for the bodies left in my wake if they won't leave me alone about it.
There are as many ways to do polyamory as there are people practicing it!