Thanks for all your kind support. GS, I am so glad to be here and will be here for a while. It was such a relief finally reading your explanation that resonates with what S felt. Last night we logged on together so that he could read your replies. Knowing that there are people who have been where we are makes us feel less alone with our situation. A couple of days after that post, S conciously took a step back and told me to just 'be'.. No more pressure although we get tense moments when I swing from a positive to negative emotions.
Rachelina: I think too that getting close to D(S's GF), will be helpful because I feel deep down that this matter is not one to be shoved under the rug and forgotten about. It wont be difficult to work on a friendship because she is a warm person I liked very much before I d day of the affair discovery. Today we are going to meet after 3 weeks of no contact and just talk. Both S and I are quite nervous about it because D has no idea about polyamory nor the spiritual aspect of S feelings for her. It feels like jumping off a precipice..
Like most you advised, opening up to what could be focus less on the negative feels brought on by the is helping alot. Best of all S understands that for now my mind can only handle as far as the first meeting. Will keep you posted