It depends on life stage and what you want to do in your life as to what kind of relationship dynamic will work for you. When you haven't done and wish to do the marriage and kid thing then being a secondary might not work for you, but when you already have and are looking for independancy, or are fine doing other things in life and having the company of another some of the time, it might work. Mono, for instance, my partner, has had a wife and kid and cheated for a number of years. He never thought anyone would love him again and is quite content with what he has now. He says he is my secondary, out of respect for my husband, PN, but to me he is my OP, my OSO; my other primary or other significant other.
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