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Old 10-25-2010, 05:41 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
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Originally Posted by SNeacail View Post
I realized just recently that I had been involved with the same people for 10-15 years but didn't really feel like they were my friends, for a lot of reasons. I have been doing a lot of things recently to fix my need for friends that are seperate from my husbands friends. It's a slow process, but it did require an attitude change on my part and stepping outside my comfort zone more often.
This is exactly what he is going through!!! Thanks. At least I know it's something that happens for others... he suddenly realized that he relied entirely on his high school buddies for friendship throughout a life time, but the fact of the matter is that they have moved on because they are different than him and because he never wanted to see them because he didn't like there activities when they came to town (get drunk and throw up at pizza shops). He is nostalgic for the good old days, but that is about it where they are concerned. Tonight we went to a pot luck for the mycological society and I met one of his friends there that had the dinner. I was content to sit back and talk with people I have never met before from a completely different life style than me and was happy to see him strengthening his friendship, even though he was nervous and awkward and I could tell wanted to run away

Originally Posted by SNeacail View Post
As far as cuddling, just sit close enough to touch him, hold his hand, touch his legs with your feet, etc. I'm the non-cuddly person also, I get too hot, too uncomfortable or just can't sit still for that long. The simple touches will convey the same message, that you are there for him, not because there is nothing else to do. Save the cuddling toward the end of the movie (or such), just before you want to take him off to bed .
Ha ha... more like he takes me off to bed and then I get up because he goes to bed at 9 and I at 1. Yes, just sitting together seems to be enough for him... or my just chatting while we fold laundry or do dishes. It doesn't take much really.. just some moments of philosophizing. His favorite pass time.
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