Thanks for the advice =) I know.. I'm pretty positive I am a mono person. I don't know if this the best life for me. But I really have connected with this guy, and that's why its hard. If I didn't feel so strongly about him, I wouldnt consider this.
So that's the only reason I want to research the 'poly lifestyle' like on these forums- because I really feel connected with him, but not his lifestyle I guess... which maybe means I can't do a relationship.