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Old 10-24-2010, 07:02 PM
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SNeacail SNeacail is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2010
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Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
PN does frustrate me around his hermitous ways as he complains that he has no friends. He has relied on me to bring his social life to him. At a time when I am removing myself more from being with others all the time, he finds this difficult.

He was complaining last night that he feels lonely. I immediately take that on as my fault. I told him that perhaps he should search for a woman or man that likes to be home with him... but I don't think that is it as he doesn't really hang out with me while we are at home either. At least not all snuggly on the couch... he isn't in to that and sits up after a couple of minutes and wants his side of the couch.
PN and I should talk. We are alot alike.

I realized just recently that I had been involved with the same people for 10-15 years but didn't really feel like they were my friends, for a lot of reasons. I have been doing a lot of things recently to fix my need for friends that are seperate from my husbands friends. It's a slow process, but it did require an attitude change on my part and stepping outside my comfort zone more often.

I asked him if he prefer I stay home instead of going to Mono's birthday party... PN had been gone all day on a mushroom foray and we hadn't seen him all day. He said no, but I wonder if he would of preferred I stay home.
I doubt that he wanted you to stay home. First it would make him feel guilty, toward both you and Mono (Birthday party is a big thing). Second if he was out all day, he probably needed time alone to decompress and going out again would just make him grumpy.

The truth is he does this to himself and most of the time is probably grateful that you have someone else to do things with so he doesn't have to. However, it does catch up to us every once in a while.

As far as cuddling, just sit close enough to touch him, hold his hand, touch his legs with your feet, etc. I'm the non-cuddly person also, I get too hot, too uncomfortable or just can't sit still for that long. The simple touches will convey the same message, that you are there for him, not because there is nothing else to do. Save the cuddling toward the end of the movie (or such), just before you want to take him off to bed .
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