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Old 10-24-2010, 05:53 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
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Yes, I have wondered that. There is some envy in their hermitous ways (I made that word up ). I have a long way to go to become more of the hermit and introvert that I envy being. First step, practicing being alone.

I would like to achieve a balance somehow.

PN does frustrate me around his hermitous ways as he complains that he has no friends. He has relied on me to bring his social life to him. At a time when I am removing myself more from being with others all the time, he finds this difficult.

He was complaining last night that he feels lonely. I immediately take that on as my fault. I told him that perhaps he should search for a woman or man that likes to be home with him... but I don't think that is it as he doesn't really hang out with me while we are at home either. At least not all snuggly on the couch... he isn't in to that and sits up after a couple of minutes and wants his side of the couch.

I asked him if he prefer I stay home instead of going to Mono's birthday party... PN had been gone all day on a mushroom foray and we hadn't seen him all day. He said no, but I wonder if he would of preferred I stay home.

I fear that my frustration is going to become worse before it gets better actually as I go through the process of becoming more "in my room" ... it's a bit of a metaphor isn't it? As I take on my own life and let go of things like unfinished bathrooms that I have no control of as it's not mine to control... I am essentially leaving PN to his ow defenses and he has no chose but to go with it... so much guilt there, but it is so necessary for me to grow into something different, because it hasn't been working.

I just carry on Magdyln, don't really know what to do with that one.... I am just waiting to see where it goes. If you or anyone have thoughts, I am open to a conversation... or more questions.
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