Originally Posted by redpepper
Either I adjust to that and don't do anything because I will feel guilty if I do, or just go do stuff, spend our money and brush aside my guilt feelings.
You can't "don't do anything" Lilo. That just isn't you Love. While me and PN aren't quite as enthusiastic about a lot of stuff as you we do enjoy doing things with
you. I enjoyed going to the Mono/poly debate with you, enjoyed the Poly-friendly camping trip with you and PN. On the other hand, things like meetings to discuss our poly lives or weekend workshops are lower on the priority list. I think you would like to share more of our lives with others where me and PN are less enthusiastic about that. If Doctor Phil wanted us to go on his show, who would want to participate and who wouldn't? I'd say no, but would not hold you back from that experience for yourself if you wanted it.
We are also very different in how we do relationships with friends. I require almost no contact to maintain fulfillment with people, PN requires a little more and you like a fair bit of actual contact. These differences create our levels of motivation to do things. Hell, I get my fill of socializing at out monthly poly meeting and work LOL!
Finances are tricky because you and PN are linked so one's actions do affect the other. I can't comment on that except perhaps it's time to pay yourself more