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Old 10-23-2010, 04:58 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Location: Canada
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Originally Posted by MyotherB View Post
So as things are, if I were to pursue a relationship with another, I think B would be devastated. To attempt to do so without her blessing would be tragic for our relationship, and I am confident that at this point if I asked to pursue someone, it would be a disaster.
I think this is highly hypocritical. What is good for her, should be just as good for you if it should come along for you. I agree, to attempt something without your blessing would be, could be disastrous, but I really think she needs to look at her hypocrisy with this one. It's a bit on the polygamy/polyandry side of things and if that is what YOU agree to for ever and ever amen then that is fine, but obviously it is a concern or you wouldn't be here wondering about it.

I do understand what she feels however, I struggled to accept that my PN was venturing out on his own into the poly community to find loves. He has a one track mind and is not the best at being able to multi-task where anything is concerned, let alone poly. I was concerned and would of preferred he not go there. I had to really bite my tongue and not let on my hypocrisy to him to much so that he could do his own exploring. I had to remind myself that I am NOT in control of his life, I DO NOT have a right to tell him what will happen just because I had an experience and he hasn't asked and I need to be a comforting and caring home for him to come home to... one that accepts him for all the mess ups I thought he might make). Turned out that I was right about some things, but wrong about others. What I hadn't banked on was how much he would change and grow and how much independence and self esteem/worth he would create in his life! So worth biting my tongue for and just waiting.

Originally Posted by MyotherB View Post
I am trying to learn to be less reliant on her for my happiness, and the last thong o need is another heart to juggle.
Need some time to work on me first. The rest can wait.
Well, as I said above, my experience with PN is how much going out and exploring other people that took his fancy HELPED him on the work he needed to do on himself. He became less reliant on me for sure... but he did struggle with the juggle. I was right about that one!
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