Originally Posted by enoki
The only way that I can be assured that things have been resolved the way I want is to express my feelings myself.
I am worried though. I am not a malicious or mean person, but I do get very hot headed. I do feel that there is a risk of blowing this up. I also have a problem with expressing how I feel to her because I feel like I would be having to "explain" myself to her as if I am the one who is wrong.
Try writing everything out beforehand. You have the chance to look at it, to edit what you want to say, and even to ask your husband what he thinks about it if you like. Then you have something well thought out to present to her, something you wrote when you were feeling calmer and stronger than your mindset is likely to be when confronting her.
For that matter, you could just give it to her once you have it as you want it, with the addition of your contact info and the message that you would appreciate a call if she has any questions.
The thing is, the more comfortable you feel with them, the closer they will be able to get, and they should realize this and do whatever it takes for you to be comfortable... not on their schedule, but on yours.
Good luck with this!