You all may not be struggling, but I am.....
I am very glad to have found this board, and advice and insight I have received already has helped tremendously. I have at least identified from where some of my insecurity stems, and am (i think) doing a better job at searching for the root of my issues.
Right now though, I am emotional and hurting. B is off at Blizzcon in Los Angeles with her other, and having a great time. I went with last year with she and her first other, and made her miserable, because I was bored and wnadered off a lot.
So, when we discussed me going again this year, B pointed out that the tickets were sold out. Fair enough.
I rememebred the reason I didn't go earlier today, after chatting with B about how she snuck P in because he didn't have a ticket
Intellectually, I know that it makes sense for her to not want me to be there and drag her down, and truly I can think of things I'd rather do than be at a convention about World of Warcraft.
I'm just having a hard time being the old worn out stuffed rabbit, sitting on the shelf while she plays with her new shiny RC car she got for her birthday, you know?
Doesn't help that to keep her happy over the last 7 years, I basically torpedoed my social life, so all I have to do while she is out is watch the kids.
Shit. I'm a mess.
The more you judge, the less you love
The only common thread in all my failed relationships, is ME.