Thank you for your advice. My problem right now is that my heart isn't nearly as level as my head. I fear that my wife's ( let's call her B ) need for more than just me is affecting how I feel about her. For almost 20 years, she has been my everything. Everytime she is away, I feel rejected. I can feel the dynamic between us changing, and it scares me. Alot. I don't want to want someone else, but the empty space her other relationships are placing on my heart are making me wonder if I will continue to be happy with her alone.
The way I am made, I need someone to NEED me. I know she loves me, but it feels on a way that she is moving on from me, and the fact that I am not everything to her any longer may make her less of what I need to be happy.
I don't want to be insecure. It is unattractive and weak. I fear what pursuing another relationship will do to our rapidly changing relationship.
I feel like I want things back the way they were over a year ago.
My head knows that ship already sailed. Adapting to this and finding a way for us to be happy together in this new landscape is going to be.... Challenging .
I think that long walk alone is in order.