Originally Posted by QuestioningMono
?? What about when your Poly SO tells you something or shares something with you that is taken "special" then to turn around and find out he's shared the same thing with .... his girl... whatever you want to call it.
Same sayings, a song that fits you to a "T" and find out/hear him call her the same thing ... see an IM saying that the particular song "took her breath away"
I was crushed... NOTHING is special... doesn't feel special... Doesn't matter how nice the other person is... makes me feel like second hand... and I'm almost to the point I don't believe anything he or she says anymore.
I had a little bit of that when I first realized that he was tying her up with the same ropes he ties me up with (those are no longer MY ropes), when he played the guitar and sang songs that made my knees weak, but played them for her too (not MY songs alone anymore). The list goes on and on.
I think tho in this situation, he does soo many of the same things with both of us, that the differences are much more subtle, and usually based on the specific things that she and I like. She likes to be flogged, I like to be choked. She likes snuggling against his chest, I bury my face in his beard all the time. She argues religion with him, he and I study neuro-linguistics . We watch different t.v shows together, go different places together and have different pet names.
Your situation sounds difficult and upsetting and I would be upset too if I felt something totally unique turned out to be something given to someone else. I feel for you