@Questioning: It would be wrong of me to say I'm in a poly relationship, because this is all really new to me. But the "concept" doesn't scare my wife.
Basically...I have a close friend that I have some competing feelings for. Attraction competes with wanting to protect and keep safe. It was difficult to explain to my wife at first, but she gets it now.
To borrow my new favorite metaphor...relationships are like paintings. The feelings we have for people are the colors on the palette, and how we act on those feelings shapes the painting itself. My close friend, for instance - my wife knows exactly how I feel about her. I just told her everything. Of course, I told her how I feel about HER, too! Once you understand that nothing is black and white, nothing is shades, everything is just a gigantic blend of color, you can understand a little better.
I just deleted a lot more blah-blah, it's in my initial post here and I don't really need to repeat it.
What I'll say is, I don't care about calling myself one thing or another now. I had some feelings for someone that are real, I felt guilty about it because of how my wife would feel. We talked about it, the hows, the whys...it wasn't all easy, and some hurt came out from both parties. But now I have a close friend who happens to be female and...I'm free to care about her and love her, without hurting my wife. And that's a big deal to me.