To Fayerweather -
Interesting post, and it made me want to tell you that I am impressed that you recognize that the relationships are different and that behavior from one may not "fit" the other very well at all.
Being "fair" isn't about being treated the exact same way. It's about treating others and being treated in the way that works for you individually.
There is a golden rule about treating others as you would like to be treated. I perfer the platinum rule about treating others as they want you to treat them.
I wish you well in your relationships - it sounds like you are in a happy place!