Originally Posted by Fayerweather
My boyfriend and his gf were hanging out the other night and we got to talking about the special little things he does with us and comparing notes. It was fun and educational.
We both pretty quickly noticed that he does pretty much a lot of the same stuff with both of us. He has a certain way of treating women that's a funny mix of pulling our pigtails and being really cute and for a while we laughed a lot at how both she and I were irritated or bugged by his pranks (eg. If you walk up the apt steps in front of him, he'll try to stick a finger up your butt. We HATE that!).
Than, as we kept talking, it turned out that he had some sweeter, cuter stuff that he did with her that he doesn't do with me (eg. make up a silly song where the only words are "my baby" and sing it to her). At first I was a little hurt thinking I was missing out on something, but it fits their vibe. She is an adorable, little, tom boyish 22 year old and I am a tall, angular, serious 34 year old and it fit their relationship personality.
By the same token, my other bf and I are very romantic and sweet with one another and send gooey texts and e-mails back and forth all day, where the above bf and I barely speak when we're not together.
What are some of the differences in how you treat different lovers/partners and why? I'd be curious to hear about it
With H, we usually just act very much like good girlfriends do/would...most of the time we're not super flirty/touchy, we just talk a lot. She is my sounding board for frustrations with B (sometimes he and I fight a lot...we're both incredibly stubborn) because she's been with him for something over 5 years now. At my place, we do snuggle quite a bit though. Our relationship is a little bit newer than B and I's.
B is more the romantic stuff...he tells me he loves me and we have our little inside jokes (pancake is one of them) from before our true triad formed up. I talk to him a little more about my concerns with future...but if I know he's gonna tell me to get over it, I talk to H instead. B doesn't understand that telling me to get over it doesn't fix it or help me worry less about it
Within the triad I'm kinda the baby...this is my first real poly relationship so I usually follow their lead...but I'm startin to get the hang of it. It's weird to have them "take care" of me...since I've been on my own for the last 6.5 years and I'm slightly older than B and a few years older than H
Nothing earth shattering...but little differences in how we relate/love on one another.