Thread: Quad Family
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Old 10-19-2010, 03:22 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
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Originally Posted by Lemondrop View Post

A downside to my weekend was that I continue to feel like I don't fit in this dynamic--Asha and Easy are so alike, and it usually feels like Sunday works hard not to have anything in common with me. Sunday and Asha belong together, I know, but sometimes I feel like Easy and Asha belong together, too. I also keep having dreams that no one wants me in the group. I don't feel like a part of the whole. I don't exactly know what to do about it or how to fix it.

I tried to flirt with Sunday a bit, only to be pushed away. I don't even know if he knows he's doing it. But I did have a few minutes of wondering why I even tried. I mean, I spent so many years of my marriage to Easy being pushed away. Putting up with it for so long damaged my self-esteem and made me want to walk out on the marriage. Why am I signing up for more of the same? I need to stop hitting my head on the brick wall, but I don't seem to be able to stop myself. Maybe I'm doing it because giving up on Sunday feels like giving up on the large family. Maybe I just desperately want to believe him when he tells me he loves me.
WHY hit my head on the SAME DAMN BRICK WALL when it only seems to get harder with each hit (maybe my head is getting softer)?

I have no helpful answer-but I sympathise and offer hugs.

I am having some similar emotions and it's so disappointing!
"Love As Thou Wilt"
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