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Old 08-17-2009, 04:19 PM
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Macbeth Macbeth is offline
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Oregon
Posts: 37

I wanted to chime in here with my comments on this situation.

I was actually very excited for Lady Macbeth to pursue things with this gentleman. After their outing (as in date, not public declaration) the other day, and the following conversation they had, I felt very pleased that they were able to have this openness with each other.

I was also quite happy she had someone to jog with in the evenings, since I don't jog and I've always been nervous of her jogging alone at night. When she got back and told me about the kiss, I was happy for her, and glad that they had such a nice encounter.

Now, that's not to say I didn't have a whole package of emotions. I felt a great deal of ambivalence later in the evening, but after I allowed myself to feel it, and then took a look at what it was, I realized it had more to do with the permanent change in relationship that this is, and not with any specific action. I wasn't jealous, or even envious, but rather wondering how all of this was going to play out over time. I was considering it something akin to buying a new car. You've made a decision, and an investment, and there's no going back on it. Was it the right decision? Can you afford the payment? Was it an impulsive purchase, should you have shopped around more? All of those thoughts. I'm feeling more comfortable again this morning, but some of the uncertainty still lingers. And that's fine. You can't expect total giddy joy about the whole thing at all times.

I'm still excited about the path ahead. I'm just ready to accept ALL the feelings that go with it.
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