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Old 10-18-2010, 10:24 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723

Originally Posted by mumbles View Post
I guess what's not clear to me is...where do you draw the line between a close friend, and someone who's closer?

Is there a line at all there? Or is it something that can only be self-described, in the eye of the beholder?

Put a different way,

What is the difference between a polyamorous person's NS partner, and a mongamous person's close friend?

Are there genuine differences here? Does it just come down to how you personally feel about the person?
Sorry I missed chatting with you this morning Mumbles. Work is not the best place for me to chat, but I would of liked to of said hi.

I think your relationship can be whatever you want it to be. No restrictions or boundaries in terms of definition. The rules are fluid and about following what feels right. My NS boyfriend and I decided on that term for us because it fits. I hold his hand, snuggle up to him in a loving way and talk to him about deep issues. It just fits to call him a boyfriend. He and I both enjoy that. I get my sexual needs met elsewhere and he is working on that too.

Really, you are working so hard and should feel very proud I think. Your wife sounds like she is struggling, but I haven't heard any reason she can't trust you so hopefully she will come around to realize that you love her. It takes time, patience, empathy, respect and continued honest communication; radical honesty. Good for you!
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