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Old 10-18-2010, 07:01 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
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Originally Posted by Vinccenzo View Post
They had mini interviews with them and they spoke of pain and uncertainty - how this was addressed or attended to was not shared. They just went on with the process. It was also touched on that none of the three were wanting a fourth being added but that the husband's actions leading up to the decision clued them in that something was going on. He did not discuss it much prior to courting this woman.
Yes, this bothered me. It seemed at first the family had equilibrium but the 4th wife was being brought in against the wills of the wives, esp wives# 1 and 2. The 4th wife-to-be lived 4 hours away? The dad was making that drive regularly to see her, avoiding spending the weekends with his other 3 wives and 12 children? It seemed kind of irresponsible and greedy/selfish of him. Big risk, 16 yrs of marriage, 12 kids all raised together, now to add a new wife and 3 strange kids? Dad was swept away by lust and NRE, methinks.

It was funny, the 3rd wife explaining how she didnt even want a man at first in a marriage, she was looking for a sister wife! Also, why she didnt want to be a first wife. If she was first, there was no guarantee of a sister wife. If she was #2, she might drive a wedge betweeen the first wife and the husband. #3 is "just right." Less pressure. Also she quoted a maxim in their culture being, if the man is having troubles with his 2 wives, take on a 3rd. This diffuses the tension. Huh, maybe b/c the NRE shakes things up in a good way? At least for a while?

But in this case, adding a 4th to a stable of 3, seems to be rather negative.

Also did anyone pick up on the husband's motivations for being FLDS? It was the ability to have several wives. He wasnt raised in the religion, he converted. He didnt say he wanted several wives to bring more women to glory, or to get himself a better planet in heaven, he just wanted many women. Here. Now. To have sex with (implied).
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 62)
Pixi (poly, F, 40) together since 2009
My bf Kahlo (poly-friendly, M, 45) since August 2017
Master, (mono, M, 36), Pixi's bf for 5 years
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