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Old 10-18-2010, 10:45 AM
anotherbo anotherbo is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Homer, Alaska
Posts: 133
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PollyPocket View Post
Now, we are knee deep in that pus, and I, for one, am wondering 'where the fuck did that come from and why did it not reveal itself earlier?'

Doesn't matter. It is here now. THIS is the time to clean the wound.
Lord, I never expected this latest turn of events, and I'm so sorry for you both.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sparky615 View Post
As far as the "cheating" episode goes. We were broken up, I had broken up with C for real. I burned bridges behind me so that there was no chance of reconciliation. I did the right thing for Polly and for our marriage. So what does Polly do? Goes out and gets loaded and screws her in the parking lot of the bar. Polly can't understand why I see it differently that it was ok for me to play slap and tickle while we were still seeing each other, but not ok for them to do it after the relationship had ended.
I'm not too happy about airing our dirty laundry here, but I've tried many times to explain why I was so hurt by that action. Obviously it's not the sex part, I see it as a premeditated action against me. Polly herself says that she knew something was going to happen when they left the bar to go out for a smoke. And apparently they were both saying something to the effect of "we can't do this" as it was happening. Knew it was the wrong thing to do, that it would crush me, and did it anyway. I hope that I don't seem unreasonable.
I'm so glad to see you posting here, Sparky, even if it makes you uncomfortable. You don't seem unreasonable to me at all. Throughout this whole thing, you seem like you've stayed sanest of all, and done the best job of really exercising the self-discipline to stay within the agreed boundaries. So this final encounter must feel like even more of a slap in the face!

Is it possible that it wasn't a premeditated action against you? It might have been more about Polly and C. Just food for thought.

Personally, when I cheated (and I sure hope I never do again!), I discovered an immense, unsuspected ability to fool myself about the seriousness of my actions. To convince myself it would be ok. Deep in my heart I knew it would crush my ex, but I managed to drown out that inner voice so completely, it took me a long time to be able to hear it. To fully understand the magnitude of what I had begun.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PollyPocket View Post
So, the hubby and I are still separated. We are both 'cautiously optimistic' however know that we will both be fine if it doesn't work out for one or both of us.
Best wishes to both of you in working it out, and in cleaning the wound. I'm so floored by all of this! But still hopeful that, once the pus is gone, you'll find yourselves more strongly connected in the end.
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