I have a big red flag on the "no meeting" thing. What is she afraid of? that you will blow up emotionally? Perhaps its time to sit down and make some goals. What is it that she hopes to achieve out of this arrangement? What do you hope to achieve? What could you do that would make it easier for her? When can you meet him and how would she like to see this happen? What would she like from you in this regard? When do you get to go out and seek out what you desire in life? When can she take the kids/kid so you can have our time? Maybe she should take the kids?kid with her sometime when she goes to see him so that you can have your time....
I know what we read hear is one sided and its hard to know what goes on for her, but what is this really about. Is she a mum that is struggling with parenting and finds that she keeps her sanity by hanging out with younger people pretending she is still at that stage? Is she really still lost in NRE and being selfish? Are you the type to sit back and let her do what she likes while she thinks its okay? It's so hard to tell.
Really the only think I can grasp on to is the fact that you have not met. This is a big one in poly. The idea is that we all support one another and have consideration for one another by knowing one another. This is not poly to me buy open... all very well, but there are different ideas around open and poly and if you are struggling then maybe some good 'ol defining together might be in order... get on the same page. Back to a chat about common goals perhaps?
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