More open minded than I thought.
I had the talk with my husband... After spending a day with a friend who dispensed a lot of great advice & helped me get my thoughts in order. After hanging with my friend I went home to another planned night of lovemaking that got railroaded by these issues my husband has been having... That turned into drama, crying, basically a fight. It cemented the need to have this talk further. The next day we finally had a makeup session, which was awesome- but even that cemented this poly need in my brain. I need more than my husband can possibly give. I give him more than he can absorb.
So I was empowered to talk to him about it tonight. I started by asking: "how open minded are we in our relationship?". Would we be open to bringing others in? How would he react if I needed another lover? He responded by saying that he acknowledged that he cannot give much more at this point in his life. And that he would be open to learning more & I insisted that all terms be agreed upon... So nothing is hidden or in the dark. So we are reading the resources together & we shall see how this goes.