I feel horrible about this whole break up between BF and I.
Last was the first time since July when there was no good night. This morning is the first time there was no good morning. Then our sunday thing is a mess. We watch football and if we can't be togather when he is at corporate we talk about it all day long. Right, now I am missing our rituals and mostly I just miss him. The thought of him made me smile, all the time.
I am somewhat at a loss today. I miss the feeling of bliss, the feeling of serenity, the feeling of butterflies.
I want to text him and say I miss you. I can't. I can't make this harder for him. He told me, that he has to go grieve us and play happy or at least try for happy. He says, he has to do this alone and I have support. I think that isn't true. I have to grieve this for myself. I don't even know if I am making sense. Right now I am not even sure if I can be his friend for awhile.
I do want him to be happy to be able to live with peace in his mind.
I just don't know how to do this right now.