Ari and Grounded-
Thanks for your insight. I'm starting to see the diff between Poly and Open- I think right now it's a lot closer to Open. Perhaps over time we'll both evolve into a full Poly situation, regardless of whether I stay Mono or not.
Bottom line is that no matter what it is, my biggest hurdle is to contain my emotions- I continue to freak out every time she's about to go see new guy and then I beat myself up over acting out.
Can you have Compersion in an open marriage that's not truly Poly as you guys define it? I think ultimately I need to get there, because I profess to only want happiness for C, and this clearly makes her happy- so therefore I feel I'm being "wrong" for begrudging her. Especially when I believe that this is no real threat to our marriage (unless I screw it up). And with the only negative factor to me being that she "cares" for this person she's having sex with- (and yes, I hesitate to even call this a "negative factor" now).