Originally Posted by Quath
Don't say "You are being a jerk" instead say "I am feeling like you are not listening to me." It is much more informative and less likely to put up emotional defences.
If you can add a fact that happened which lead to these feelings it really helps a lot in my opinion. For example you would tell them which event made you feel like you were not being listened to. Example: 'Remember the time you were talking to your ex and you didn't want to come downstairs all night'. That fact cannot be disputed cause both of you know it happened like this, and the reason it made you feel this way cannot be disputed either, cause these are your feelings. Then you can easily go from there, instead of the person getting defensive.