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Old 10-16-2010, 02:13 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231

Originally Posted by tincuptt View Post

In fairness to her, now that NRE has subsided some, she has treated me more fairly about our time, and I have received some benefit (better sex, and I'm much more in touch with my feelings for her). But I can't stop this daily feeling that I just wish she'd end it with new guy....
Hey Tin,

This is good ! (above quote)
You've survived the hardest phase. It gets easier from here (usually) - if you keep perspective.

Here's an important fundamental that I think is important to grasp.....

There are many people that can't find real sexual stimulation/satisfaction without some emotional connection. And I think, statistically, you will find this especially true with most women.
It's not a bad thing ! Don't look at is as such. Ideally, you SHOULD feel a bond with someone you have sex with in most cases. Not to say a one time quickie can't be exciting too - but long term it's seldom enough to meet the requirements

This is what causes so many horror stories in the 'swinger' community. It's rare that people can separate sex and bonding for long. But many try to deceive themselves with "rules" (no bonding allowed) but has there ever been a 'rule' not broken ?

Better to not make stupid rules you know in advance are unreasonable !

Bonding is not a threat ! Don't be afraid of it. You can both (as you've discovered already) benefit from more happiness and contentment in your relationship. It's a win/win if you allow it to be !

Sounds like you are headed in that direction. Awesome
Refocus.......keep paddling, enjoy the ride.

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