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Old 10-16-2010, 09:14 AM
freeantigone freeantigone is offline
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Kent, UK
Posts: 46

Right, more developments, so I guess I should post!

The email play between E & I just seems to be getting hotter I think once we are physical it could be dynamite

A has been off the grid for a while, I think he's struggling with a few things in his life. I'm seeing him today to go shopping so we'll see how that goes. I feel a little bit like he's disappearing from my life but that might be my paranoia about being abandoned.

Other than that Mr FreeAntigone and I had a looooong talk last night (aren't poly chats always long though? ) about the friction that's been felt between us this week. We've both been struggling for various reasons, and we decided that the 'equivalent playmates' rule (whereby neither of us can start being physical with someone else until we've both got a playmate) wasn't working. Instead, we decided that we both (well, mainly me ) need to put more effort into our relationship, and once Mr F feels that we are more stable then I can start being physical with A and E.

I've been struggling with the rule (what can I say, I'm impatient) but last night reminded me that this is bringing a lot of Mr F's old wounds back to the surface. He was cheated on by his wife and it destroyed him, and he's terrified of losing me. I don't feel the same partly because I feel very secure in our partnership and partly I'm just not as emotionally literate as he is.

Laying there in bed crying together and talking reminded me why he feels the way he does right now - it's not jealousy or ownership - he's scared of us being compromised.
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