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Old 10-16-2010, 04:30 AM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872

Originally Posted by SNeacail View Post
I have been noticing, that some people have and issue with their partner having sex with someone else, but not an close emotional attachment. While others it is just the oposite, where its ok to have sex, just no emotional involvement. What drives these different view points?
Tough question. Really tough. I guess its where, in your head, your insecurity lies. All of thats going to be based on history.

Some peoples insecurity lies in their relationship. For example, long term married suddenly couple decides to swing. The man finds a woman he cares for and falls in love. The sex doesn't bother the wife, as she was getting something out of it, but the love does. Likely a problem with knowing the marriage was sucking wind anyways, or maybe because she isn't feeling included. Either way, the sex is easier to deal with than the love.

Other example. man and women married a short time. Their relationship was based on someone cheating, or a one night stand. Something based purely in sex. The woman finds a new, younger, apparently hotter man, who is dynamite in bed. Add in kinks that she doesn't do with her new husband. And you have an insecurity based on sex.

In both cases, jealousy was based on both history and experience, you have a difference of jealousy towards between sex and the emotional side.

As a 99% of the time non jealous person, I often wonder how others are jealous over the most, what I consider, insignificant things. Dating, sex etc, nothing actually bothers me when I have confidence in my relationship. My jealousy is always rooted in a lack of confidence or a lack of trust. I have only experienced jealousy with one person in almost 12 years. It was a situation where I experience a bit of both of the above. My jealousy was rooted in knowing the relationship was weak and having a lack of confidence in my sexual prowess with her...

thats my take anyways ...

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