Originally Posted by Wraith
I am having a lot of trouble trying to reconcile what I understand rationally (he loves me, he's emotionally committed to me and doesn't want to have a relationship with any of the other girls he might be involved with) with my emotional responses to his other sexual connections. He tells me that this may just be a phase he's going through in his life and he wants to be able to explore other sexual situations with other people. He says he's at a time in his life where he wants to have the commitment of a relationship to me and be able to explore other sexual avenues with other people at the same time. I am also allowed to become involved with other people, should I choose to. In the interest of not being miserable every time he sleeps with someone else, and not fighting with him anymore, is there anything anyone can recommend that I might be able to try in order to approach this more rationally and deal with my jealousy?
First off...and this is more for your information. Polyamory is about the loving. It sounds like he is more into an open relationship. He is looking for his fun times, outside of the relationship. Keeping in mind, there are those of us who are both open and polyamorous.
Jealousy, there is lots of posts on jealousy. I would recommend doing a search and looking at figuring out the root cause of your jealousy.
There is some good information in this post. Amongst many others
I would recommend against "using" someone to deal with your jealousy. It would have the same affect as a rebound. Just not something anyone wants to deal with should things turn south.
I don't know if there is a forum for "open" relationships. But you fit (and yes some people disagree) somewhere in between poly and swinging. You definitely fit within the non-monogamous umbrella.
Welcome to the journey, we are all walking our paths. In all cases, the number one thing to do is communicate, past that, you must trust in what your partner says unless proven otherwise. It might help you through the tough times