Thanks once again
I'm flying out the door to work for a few hours...blessed distraction...
But I wanted to say thanks for the support and understanding and for a space where I can just share and be heard.
A few quick replies:
Sage, I had found and read that post (several times) a while ago...reading that and others like it remind me that I'm not alone and have helped ground me a bit too, I think.
GS - that's a lot of good questions and ones we have been discussing, though you have laid them out very clearly...we have a LOT more talking to do - thanks for giving me a bit of a map
vodkafan - thanks...its good to have the perspective of someone who'd been there so recently. Sex is on the table, though - absolutely. I actually mean the simple act of falling asleep and waking up together in the same bed. I struggle greatly with that and that is the one boundary I have asked for. I was resistant to sex up until a few days ago, but then did some processing...they both want to be able to just immerse themselves in discovering each other and making out...and to me that is more of a perceived threat than sex. And I think saying they have a line to stop at...it gives everything more weight, and more power...
So I asked for it to happen, to be honest...I asked for them to just get past all the 'firsts'...She has her own guidelines though and I'm not sure what will happen.
As to welcoming him back...I struggle with the mental images of him with others...I freely admit it. I've been there after all the the cheating and it took a LONG time to not have pictures constantly in my head. And they're already starting...I have to figure out how to face them... but I KNOW that's a huge trigger and challenge for me.
We'll see what happens next, I guess.
And to everyone else - thanks again...
I'm sure I'll be back here tonight after DS is tucked in and the long hours stretch ahead of me...