So much to think about and right now I can't seem to think of anything...I am just working on breathing and taking things one moment at a time.
He's on the bus, heading over to meet her...it's real, it's NOW and it's just the very beginning.
I am very glad to have found my way here. I've been reading and reading and soaking in the journeys and paths others have taken...it helps to know I'm not alone and that others have been here and are here and it's possible to move through this and come out the other side with positivity.
Rachelina - thank you for addressing my worries about how to make it through today, tonight and tomorrow...It's harder because I thought he was coming back mid-day tomorrow but it looks like it'll be tomorrow night...and he has a 14 hour work day Sunday so it's going to be hard to find space to re-connect...and I have no idea how to do that either. I don't want to make it hard, but I can't completely suppress everything either...I don't think that will be healthy. I know I'll be on here tonight...reading and posting and taking time to post to some other threads that I've been wanting to reply to.
I'm proud that I made it through last night with him with grace and serenity...I didn't cause a scene or make it harder...I did my best to be present and in the moment, which was hard. So hard. Because I am so not ready for this, and he knows it full well.
It's harder because suddenly she's pushing against the one boundary I laid down...that they not sleep together, but take time apart for some of the night (during which he is supposed to contact me). Our lives and schedules are complicated and while we are together for meals, and pretty much every evening and well into the night, he is living in a suite 4 houses down the street and we don't spend the nights together...hopefully that will change, but that's the reality for now and it was important to me that he not spend the entire night with her. And that was part of her agreement with her SO as well. But pretty much all day yesterday was filled with drama as she fought that one rule. I left everything else, EVERYTHING, even things I'm really not ready for, open and it hurts that she can't respect that. Thankfully my husband says he is going to stand completely firm...I have to trust that (which is hard, for obvious reasons), but I am going to trust him.
Oops...that was meant to be short! I think I might do as others have and just start a thread on the blog page...this likely belongs there and I have found others' blogs so helpful and insightful...at times painful and at times joyous...