Originally Posted by crazy1789
The thing you said about healthy poly means healthy metamour kinda struck a chord with me. I've known this for a while you see, and when we started seeing Felix I got in touch with his wife because I thought it was rude not to. And she ignored me and refused to meet us or anything. I feel a little bit like they shouldn't be able to call themselves polyamorous. And if they are they must be bad at it. Maybe I'm just a tad bitter though.
Healthy metamour doesn't mean being overly involved though. There needs to be respect for each other in having a relationship with the shared partner but it doesn't have to go much beyond that.
As for Felix and his wife being bad at poly, there are a million different ways to do poly. Just because she doesn't want to meet you doesn't mean anything. As long as Felix and his wife are communicating well and she's not trying to sabotage your wife's relationship with Felix I think they are poly. It could just be that she doesn't want to meet people in a contrived manner. If your wife feels a need to know Felix's wife then it is up to her to bring it up to him as a concern within their relationship.