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Old 10-14-2010, 06:06 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231

Hey Ren,

Well the good news might be that you are half way there already !
Now.....the bad news is that the next phase needs to be walked carefully, with thoughtfulness and kindness.

'Best friends ever' is kind of an ideal start to a wonderful relationship. Make sure no matter what you do - you keep that foremost in your mind.

Poly has an overall low awareness in the population. At least the intimate details of why and how it works are much unknown or distorted (i.e. links to polygamy etc)

Ironically - you have been living it already much more than many you may even read about here ! That's why I say you are halfway there already.


Go slowly.
Encourage study by everyone - especially her hubby. Point out whenever possible that to some extent, you HAVE been living it already - sans the label.
The more everyone realizes that, going forward may not look dramatically different than what you've seen already between you guys.

Don't get all excited with a new label. Just continue to grow the bond you have already and all understand that there's no limit to where it can go. But on the same hand, don't set up a goal marker. Just continue to talk about what is working so well for everyone, learn to talk about things that have bumps and don't make it like some new life defining leap. Big changes scare people.

The fact that they are swingers means they must have already knocked down the usual barriers around sex with multiple people. Make sure everyone understands that the love and caring are actually less threatening ! The hard part is over ! (some may debate this but I'll stand by it)

Come back and keep us posted and if we all can help we will.


Last edited by GroundedSpirit; 10-14-2010 at 06:08 PM.
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