Originally Posted by sparky615
TL: Thanks very much. I've had the opportunity to look over Polly's shoulder and read some of your posts. All very kind, thoughtful, and appreciated. Buddy, it was completely in my interest to have C around. Absolutely no doubt. But I never tried to keep her in close. Just the opposite. Polly went to heroic measures in trying to deal with my connection with C. But it was tough to watch. I told Polly on many many occasions "just say the word, anytime. It will be over 100%" Of course that puts the pressure on her (Polly) to do something to break my heart ( tell me to break it off with C ). Dig? No winners, dude.
You are totally correct. There are no "winners". But....SOMEONE has to be the brave one who steps forward and says "I forgive you", or "Please forgive me". Once my wife and I got past being stubborn, we were able to get past some of our OWN issues. Some we have not gotten past yet, others...well...They are water under the bridge and LOOOONG gone.
Now you're telling us that Polly was the one who was taking the bullet by pushing you into this relationship. She was not really ok with it at first? Just curious. But even though she was not "ok" with it, she loved you so much that she pushed the two of you together, and eventually also fell in love with C? Is this correct? (I have a tendancy to get confused easily. Just ask my wife! LOL)
Either way, it makes no difference......You both need to re-assure each other that you DO still love each other, and that you can work through this.
Once you have both done this, you can work forward. Until then, it's the blame game. There is plenty to go around........Personally, it would be better the other way.