Thanks for the response.
1. That's a good suggestion, and I have flirted with her in the past around my wife - I think she was aware of how I felt, but never held it against me. I "am" hyper-sexed, I suppose, and she understands that pretty well. My wife and I have been married 3 years, but together for just shy of 10.
Re: kissing, that's probably a good idea - but I'm not sure how to get to that point from basically friends with sexual tension. And I'm not sure she's interested, although I guess there's only one way to find out... In the previous example, I assumed I would just say, "Wife and I talked about this, and it's all alright." Now that you mention it though, I suppose it would make it clearer (she could figure I was lying...who knows.)
I could probably fool around a little bit with both of them in the room, but I'm not sure where to go from there - my wife is pretty clearly not interested in a threesome. Maybe it would just be to kind of bring her slowly on board to the idea?
2. I probably used the wrong words. Feelings are complicated, of course, but I can say with certainty that what I'm talking about is 100% sexual attraction. I could go on, but suffice to say there's enough about her that I'm in no way interested in any other form of relationship - part of the reason why I think it might work. What I meant by feelings was if she's attracted to me sexually, basically.
I guess the way I have envisioned it, it would just be a FwB thing, for fun, maybe until she finds a steady boyfriend (it's....ironic that I'm her go-to wingman for picking up guys, I seem to have a knack for chatting folks up.) Something like, "Hey if you're jonesing, we can hook up, no questions asked, and if not, absolutely no worries."
I should also add that my wife and I were both virgins when we met and to this day we're each our "one and only's" ...when we were talking we both expressed regret that we've never had ANY other partners.
3. Obviously I can't predict the future, but I have no interest in a full poly relationship, I just want some fun with a friend I trust. From what I can tell, my wife is actually okay to the idea of the sex, just like you said. Neither of us would be okay with an emotional involvement, and I know for a fact that I don't want one.
My wife made the comparison that "it's not much different than watching porn." and that's kind of how I feel about it.
Would love to hear what you have to say.
Last edited by mumbles; 10-13-2010 at 08:57 PM.
Reason: Clarified point 2.