Originally Posted by redpepper
Still think that fear comes from the threat of our needs not being met when we are jealous. The need is what is underneath the fear... not the same as each other at all, you are right (did I say that?)... but instead of just saying "I am fearful" why not say "I am fearful, what is going on for me and what is the threat?" Far more useful I think.
Actually, to me, jealousy is a culmination of many emotions that all lead back to feeling threatened. Its almost an umbrella term for many emotions. Mostly fear I think, but there is sadness, lonliness, anger, confusion. Not to say that those are always present either. It depends on the circumstance, but still comes back to trying to figure out what the root issues are so they can be dealt with and I think its still that there is a need that isn't being met.
Yea RP, I think we are basically saying the same thing in different ways. And the approach you advocate is pretty much identical to the thread I posted about steps to follow to get to the bottom of it.
I just have my alarm trigger set a tad low around the term 'needs' because it's a crutch in many instances to define things that are really 'passionate WANTS' as needs. And to me (and maybe not everyone else) there's a huge difference. There's a lot of things we want in life. Some we want really badly. But if our security and sanity depend on them to the point of 'need' I think we need to look long & hard at them. Having too many 'needs' just pushes us closer to the precipice. What might be an unfortunate turn of events can suddenly push us over the edge. Getting some distance from that precipice (too many needs) seems a good survival strategy.
Just a difference in understanding of a word. Something we deal with a lot in communications - right