Total newcomer, need some insight...
I need some help, I only have one friend close enough to talk about this with.
It all started with a slightly peculiar conversation with my wife...
We were discussing threesomes, and who we would have if we did. The topic came to one girl in particular, because we both knew I had a crush on her, though we hadn't mutually acknowledged it prior to then.
I'd briefly considered an affair with her, but it was easily dismissed. I love my wife with all of my heart and I wasn't going to do anything to jeopardize our marriage.
So back to the discussion, basically we were both aware of how I felt about the other girl. My wife is pretty sexually adventurous, but not really interested in a three some. To make a long story short, we talked a bit about if it would be okay for me to go out and "play" with the girl.
To be clear, I'm not emotionally attracted to the girl - she's just a good friend that I'm really sexually attracted to. I could never see myself with her in any kind of committed relationship or anything like that - my wife is where it's at.
So...we've been talking on and off about it. It was surprising to me that she was relatively open to the idea (it wasn't my plan at all), and she seems pretty open to it now - but I have two problems.
First, I just can't convince myself that she's really alright with it. I still feel like I'd be wronging my wife, even if she told me to go out and "have a good time."
Second, and perhaps more or less trivially, I'm not 100% sure this girl is actually that interested in me. I suspect she is, and from what I can tell there's been a lot of sexual tension between us - but me being married, she's never been particularly overt. We flirt quite a bit, and we hang out a lot, mostly with my wife around, and occasionally not.
So the question is, assuming we go forward, how how do I have this discussion with the girl? I've run it through my head a million ways and the best thing I can think of is to just ask her if she has any feelings for me - if so, we can continue the conversation, and if not, I can tell her I was "just checking," to put my wife at ease (or something like that.)
Any comments? I need help!