Sticky Question, hope you can help
I am pretty new to all of this, I went from being a swinger, to having an exclusive poly relationship to having an open poly relationship with "Bob" and "Nancy".
I have been seeing "Bob" for about 5 years and Nancy is a new addition to our relationship. A year ago, my job moved me 4 hours away and shortly after Bob started seeing Nancy. My move put all the unwanted strain of a long distance relationship on Bob and I. Not so much that we were having difficulties, but I felt that we were becoming distant and he asked me a couple of months ago if I would be comfortable meeting Nancy and if I would be open to him making her his other girlfriend. After some deliberation, I agreed.
As this change was taking place, I also met a delightful young lady and developed a casual sexual relationship with her.
As time is passing I hear from Bob less and less, and see him even less often.
He recently texted me and told me that he had herpes. Number 1, I felt disrespected that he didn't call me, as this is a HUGE conversation that needs to be had. I have scheduled testing for myself, (though once we started adding partners I insisted we use protection), but I am having mixed emotions.
I don't know if I want to continue our relationship, not so much in a emotional sense but in a sexual sense. I don't really know what to feel. I honestly don't think I want to risk contracting the virus as it is so unpredictable. I love this man, maybe less than I used to as time and distance has separated us. I don't want him to think that I find him disgusting or that I don't feel for him any more, but the risk just seems too high.
Is it time to call it quits and just suggest a more friendly relationship? I know he'd be understanding that I don't want to continue a sexual relationship, but I almost feel like I am betraying him. It must sound stupid. I don't really know what to do.