Just the act of reaching out and not feeling so alone has made a difference. I've been following threads and looking for similar stories, which helped, but just connecting and being heard has lifted a bit of the weight off my shoulders.
I have more specific replies, but they'll have to wait until tonight - I home school and its hard to find private moments at the computer. But I just wanted to pop back and say thank you to start. It makes such a difference to not feel alone, to know there are others who have gone through this (from both sides), and who are going through it now, who understand the hurt and confusion.
And yes, there are lots of questions I need to figure out *my* answers to - and there are some great questions above as well.
I have much to think about but am thankful I did reach out and grateful for your loving replies.