I am so sorry. I can *not* agree with this. If he values the relationship, then he takes it at your pace. There *was* forward movement, and he decided that wasn't good enough for him. *He* sought out another relationship when he was supposed to be giving you time and space. *He* decided that you were lying (lying!) when you said you were looking into it. He's acted unethically. He is pressuring you and showing no respect for you, and that's not going to get better if he gets to just railroad you whenever you want. That's not digging your heels in out of "petulance", that's asking him to respect the boundaries *HE* agreed to.
My heart aches for you. I don't think I would want to stay in this situation. I *need* to feel respected, I can't stay in a relationship where I feel like my wants and needs don't matter.
ETA: My husband doesn't weigh in on this stuff often, but I thought you ought to hear what Easy had to say: "He's not poly, he just wants an excuse to continue cheating and keep his marriage. The only reason he wants to do poly is because he got caught. From what you said, he wasn't honest after being caught cheating, that he had been cheating for a long time. So now he's just trying to use poly to force you to let him cheat." And Easy wants to know if the poly relationship includes bringing other men into the relationship for you.
Last edited by Lemondrop; 10-13-2010 at 04:14 PM.