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Old 10-12-2010, 05:37 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 6,211

Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
I have to laugh at how the OP was about stating your gender and orientation in your posts, and everyone just went ahead and posted it in this thread. I think it's a good idea to have an optional info box on registration / profile edit for orientation, as well as some info on your partners.

I'm going to go ahead and be annoying by saying that while it would be useful to have this information when someone new posts, it's not necessary in order to provide some basic advice. Tailoring your advice because of someone's gender and orientation edges on "giving specific advice to someone you know" as opposed to "giving generic advice that applies to anyone." The former is only useful if you actually know the person, the relationship, and the specifics... at which point "I'm a straight female in a heterosexual marriage" part is already known.
The ideas I might share with someone does vary when I know their orientation and sexual preference. I dont have a need to give generic advice to someone on a board. If you're queer, the advice will be different in some ways. It's a different subculture.

Realistically, a lot of people who ask for advice have barely read any other threads and will benefit from generic advice about communication, respect, and honesty. A single post will never be able to provide all the background required in order to tailor specific advice for their exact situation, and most good advice will apply equally well to a straight female as a gay male.
I hear you. I also disagree. I hate making faux pas and calling a woman "he," or ASSuming this hypothetical woman is in a relationship with a man. it's also awkward to assume 2 women in a relationship are lesbians, only to find out they are both bi. Etc.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 62) loving Pixie (poly, F, 40) since January 2009, living together since 2013
Seeing Kahlo (polyish, M, 45)
Master, (mono, M, 36), Pixie's Dom/bf for 3+ years
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