Originally Posted by geminigirl
..............Jealousy is always about fear of losing something, regardless of whether it's realistic or not. Sometimes it's fear of losing love, sometimes of losing control, and sometimes things from our past can crop up -- our current situation can be a trigger for a past loss that we don't want to think about.
This is a key point about jealousy - if in fact that is even what's concerning you most. We've talked about it extensively here in a zillion threads. It really comes down to this...........
1> Jealousy is a fear response
2> What am I TRULY afraid of ???????????
Start listing them down. Such as........
a. we will drift apart. (no need for this to happen !)
b. new partner will offer something I can't- making me less valuable
(we ALL have our own unique value we bring to a relationship)
c. I will have less time to spend with my loved one
(this is real - and unreal. It's something that a group of caring, intelligent people are capable of finding a solution to)
This exercise alone will in most cases take the 'edge' off the feeling and give everyone something productive to go to work on. When everyone is on the same team, working toward the same goals, everything seems less threatening.
Try it - you may like it