Originally Posted by nightwalker
My partner came out as polyamorous a few months ago and I was ok with that but she now wants to be with an older couple and do heavy duty bondage with them. That wasn't what I signed up to. Not sure how I feel about this but it is way outside my comfort zone. I can't bear the thought of my precious being bound and degraded and tortured. I feel she is only doing it to please them as she was never into this before
Maybe it is something she has always enjoyed. Instead of looking at this from the POV of just poly, maybe you should examine the bdsm aspect and learn why some people enjoy it.
Its also different with different people. I am a very different lover with my gf than my wife. I could never submit to my wife but I intend to submit to my girlfriend. At some point anyways
Its also amazing how some people, open up others to do things they never thought, I have been with a couple of women who I brought over to the "dark side" simply because of how openly I talk about alternate sex styles. I think there are more kinky people out there than want to admit it
This might be something she has never wanted to do with you. Heck just look at the way you refer to bdsm, I can feel your disdain for it. Which is fine, there is nothing really wrong with disliking something, but would you wife have ever been comfortable coming to you and wanting to be tied up and spanked (for example)
PS degradation is not always a part of bondage, and bondage is not always a part of degradation. Understanding the nuances may help you understand what she wants. Embrace it a bit and you might be able to talk about it with her.
Best of luck with this new turn.