Originally Posted by Tonberry
I think it's a matter of detaching sex from feelings.
If sex is tied to feelings, it might seem weird for you to have one without the other.
I wonder if it's always about "detaching" sex from feelings in general, or if it's rather sometimes about different feelings "attached" to sex. Perhaps, for some people, sex doesn't bring out their feelings of love and romance, but rather their feelings of thrill and excitement. Like riding a roller-coaster: it makes some people terrified and others feel exhilarated.
Sex is such a big deal in our culture, it's taboo and kind of overrated. I'm mean sure, sex is great, it's awesome. But lots of things are awesome, and lots of them are as great as sex. It's not the be-all-end-all of existence.
Between two people in love, it's a wonderful way to share that connection. But so is going for a walk, baking bread together, going for drinks, even fixing a leaking toilet.... none of those are inherently romantic activities, but it depends on the person you're with. I've done all those things with friends and it was just fun and social. So why can't sex be the same way?
Edit: I've never fixed a toilet with a friend. My husband and I did it once, when he accidentally broke a big chunk off the bowl because he figured that a stuck toilet-seat bolt would best be removed by hitting it with a hammer... only he missed and hit the porcelain. Then, for some reason, he decided to flush the toilet and suddenly water was exploding everywhere. I still can't think of that moment without cracking up. This was right when we first moved out together, and quite honestly, having [clean] toilet water splashing all over your first apartment bathroom is an excellent bonding activity which I highly recommend to any new couple!!