View Single Post
  #9  
Old 10-11-2010, 05:52 PM
ChlkDstTtr ChlkDstTtr is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 6
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by SNeacail View Post
When you are "staying in" and chores are getting done, are you doing them together? If I am the only one folding the massive pile of laudry while watching a movie, I don't consider that as time together, but if my husband is also folding laundry it feels different. Are you cuddling together when watching a tv show or watching a movie at home or are you sitting apart? Things to think about.
We've been attempting to do things together, but it's still divided attention. When she's out it's all about her boyfriend and whatever they feel like doing together - no distractions or responsibilities.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SNeacail View Post
How often do you and your wife send little texts (missing you, thinking of you, etc) to each other during the day? I found that I need this.
This is a request I've made of her already. We never used to text and then all of a sudden she's exchanging 50 texts with him in one day (that's come down a bit since she's been busy at work, but I still feel like I have to ask or send the first text).

Quote:
Originally Posted by SNeacail View Post
Have you told your wife what you are feeling, BEFORE it gets completely overwhelming?
Constantly. Maybe even too frequently. I had a bit of a meltdown last Thursday. Before that we had talks just about every day. Most of our texts have been on the subject (which may be part of the problem with our texts).

Quote:
Originally Posted by SNeacail View Post
A "couple" months is not very much time to deal with all the feelings and emotions that come with adding other people into your lives. Things may just be moving way too fast.
Which is one of my points. My head has been spinning. I'm out of breath trying to catch up. I've asked multiple times to slow things down, but NRE doesn't seem to respect that. I'm trying exceptionally hard to come to terms with my emotions, but every time I start to feel ok-ish with things there's either something new thrown in or another date comes up that I have to face. I've specifically told my wife "too much, too fast." I think I can accept her having feelings for another man, but I wasn't expecting them to be so strong so soon.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SNeacail View Post
Why did you guys open up your marriage in the first place?
New experiences. New relationships. We thought it would be fun. We felt comfortable with "us."

Quote:
Originally Posted by SNeacail View Post
Is your relationship with your wife as strong as it can be?
That's one place where this has been beneficial to us. We had a reasonably strong relationship to begin with, but all the discussions have helped solidify that. I, obviously, have my insecurities still, but they're not rational so are extremely difficult to rationalize away. When I do think rationally I'm quite confident about us and our love for each other. It's very difficult to pinpoint where my jealousy is coming from. All I know is that I have it.

Just thinking about all this is making me feel nauseous.
Reply With Quote