Originally Posted by redpepper
It sounds like fundamentally you are on board with being open in your relationship, which is usually quite different than poly btw... at least by most peoples definition. Although you can identify as you see fit. Poly is about loving another, not going out to have sex with others recreationally. At least for most people it seems this is how the definitions are divided.
Actually, no, I do identify as poly as you define it, I'm just having a much harder time coming to terms with her emotional attachment to another man than I thought I would. I don't just want sex. Actually quite the opposite - I wouldn't be able to have sex with someone I didn't feel a connection with. I actually have the same desire for my wife.
I think the issue is that this relationship happened so quickly and came on so strongly that I didn't have time to adjust to all the new emotions I was feeling. There's certainly been some learning on her side to with how to be sensitive to me and give me attention. I know I have insecurities and I haven't been given the opportunity to properly process them. I'm not trying to project my emotions on anyone else, but I just feel that's the reality of the situation. It's just so totally consumed me for a month that I'm willing to do almost anything to get a break from it.
And, yes, I am essentially the babysitter while she goes out. She's gone out 4 times in the last 5 weeks and I've stayed with the kids each time. We've only had a babysitter once in that time and that was for the one "real" date we had.