Originally Posted by ChlkDstTtr
Since we have 2 kids it's been difficult to go out frequently so we end up having "dates" while staying in. Unfortunately I have had a hard time getting her to give me her full attention (chores, etc.) and they're never anywhere close to the amount of time her boyfriend gets (e.g. Saturday we had about 2 hours and there was some laundry mixed in).
This is exactly why the "staying in" thing doesn't usually work. Get a sitter and go to dinner, go for a drive, go parking
, etc. Do something that requires you two to connect and talk with each other and do it on a regular basis. When you get home, after the kids are in bed, spend the rest of the evening in your bedroom with the door closed no dishes, laundry or picking up until morning.
When you are "staying in" and chores are getting done, are you doing them together? If I am the only one folding the massive pile of laudry while watching a movie, I don't consider that as time together, but if my husband is also folding laundry it feels different. Are you cuddling together when watching a tv show or watching a movie at home or are you sitting apart? Things to think about.
How often do you and your wife send little texts (missing you, thinking of you, etc) to each other during the day? I found that I need this.
I can easily see where 8+ hour dates when all you get is "staying in" time mixed with regular household chores would be a problem. I will get jealous over my husbands time with any of his friends (no sex involved) when the balance is off, but when my needs with him are being met, I can be happy for him having fun without me. Have you told your wife what you are feeling, BEFORE it gets completely overwhelming?
A "couple" months is not very much time to deal with all the feelings and emotions that come with adding other people into your lives. Things may just be moving way too fast.
Some questions to ask yourself:
Why did you guys open up your marriage in the first place?
Is your relationship with your wife as strong as it can be?